Imagine this: You're holding a 4-month-old while your toddler has somehow emptied almost the entire kitchen on to the floor.

The internal monologue in your head might be something like: "A good mum would have this handled. A good mum wouldn't let her house look like a tornado hit it."

But here's what I'm learning (as a mum in the trenches with a baby and a toddler)...A good mum needs to be present and in many cases, that means letting a few things go.

In this blog post, we will talk about how we can fall into the trap of thinking we're not a good parent because of comparison, we will look at what "good enough" actually looks like, practical ways we can embrace "good enough" in ourselves and how this is actually better for our children. So sit down amongst the toys and leftover food from today, grab your lukewarm coffee and enjoy!

The Perfectionist Mum Trap

"We All Start Somewhere (And It's Usually Pinterest)"

Perfectionism can sneak into motherhood in different ways but it tends to start with comparison. Pre-baby Pinterest boards vs. reality with a baby and toddler, looking at others social media reels of highlights not usually realty and that voice in our head: "Other mums seem to have it together".

Personally, the moment I realised my perfectionism was working against me was when I kept apologising for the state of our house. It's not dirty, it's messy. I have a toddler tornado and a new baby it shouldn't be anything else. I was getting myself anxious and getting frustrated at my toddler when he is 2 years old. He doesn't understand, and for him it's learning and exploring.

Perfectionism does nothing but steals from us the

• Joy in small moments

• Presence with our children

• Self-compassion

What "Good Enough" Actually Looks Like

"Spoiler Alert: Your Kids Don't Need Perfect"

So what is success in motherhood? I think we have to redefine it in some ways. Remembering that

Happy, loved kids is so much more important than an Instagram-worthy home, you want connection over perfection and your mental health matters too, striving to be something you think you need to be can add so much anxiety.

From my experience:

My living room looks like Toys R Us exploded, but my son is using his imagination

Some days Bluey or the Wiggles babysit while I shower or make dinner, and that's okay

I don't always respond with endless patience, but I apologise and we try again

Research shows that kids need "good enough" parenting, not perfect parenting. Resilience comes from seeing their parents handle mistakes with grace and they benefit from authentic emotions and real problem-solving.

Practical Ways to Embrace Good Enough

"Your Permission Slips to Be Human"

Below are 5 Permission Slips to help you Embrace Good Enough. If you have to write them out, put them somewhere where you can see them so that you can remind yourself on days that are hard.

Permission Slip #1: The House

• It's lived-in, not messy

• Safety over style during survival seasons

• One tidy corner can be enough some days

• Mantra: "A clean house is a sign of a wasted life" (when you have littles)

Permission Slip #2: Screen Time

• Educational content counts

• Rest time for mum = better mum

• Quality over quantity in all interactions

• Reframe: It's not "screen time," it's "independent play with electronic babysitter"

Permission Slip #3: Your Reactions

• You're human, not a parenting robot

• Repair is more important than perfection

• Modelling how to handle big emotions

• Practice: The 10-second pause and the genuine apology

Permission Slip #4: Activities and Enrichment

• Free play > structured activities sometimes

• Boredom breeds creativity

• You don't need to be the entertainment committee

• Truth bomb: Kids need downtime too

Permission Slip #5: Feeding Everyone

• Pizza Shapes are a valid snack

• Cereal for dinner won't scar them

• Fed is best applies beyond infancy

• Survival mode meals: List 5 easy go-tos

The Plot Twist - Good Enough Is Actually Better

"What I Didn't Expect When I Let Go"

So when I let go of some of the things that have been keeping me stuck a few things happened. There

was more laughter in the house. I noticed that Oscar seems to problem solve more independently, I enjoy motherhood more and it feels that there are deeper connections when I am truly present.

Ultimately ,the ripple effect from "Good Enough" parenting is that your kids learn self-compassion by watching yours, they see that mistakes are fixable and they get a more relaxed, happier mum.

Conclusion: Your Good Enough Is Their Perfect

"A Love Letter to the Mum Reading This"

Sweet mama, I need you to hear this: you are enough, exactly as you are right now. Not when you finally get the playroom organised, not when you master that perfect bedtime routine, not when you figure out how to make dinner while holding a baby and entertaining a toddler. Right now, in this moment, with yesterday's dishes still in the sink and Bluey playing for the third time today—you are enough.

Here's something beautiful I want you to remember: your children chose YOU to be their mum. Before Pinterest boards and parenting blogs, before you even knew what sleep deprivation really meant, it was decided that you were exactly what they needed. Not the mum down the street with the colour-coordinated playroom, not the Instagram mum with the bento box lunches—you. With your particular brand of love, your specific way of singing off-key lullabies, your unique laugh that makes them giggle.

The truth that perfectionist culture doesn't want us to know? Your children don't need perfect; they need present. They need the mum who notices when they're proud of stacking blocks, who kisses scraped knees with genuine tenderness, who says "I'm sorry, Mummy made a mistake" when you lose your cool. They need the mum who chooses connection over correction, who sees them as whole people deserving of grace—the same grace you're learning to give yourself.

So here's your mission this week, if you choose to accept it: pick just one small way to embrace "good enough." Maybe it's letting the toys stay scattered while you read an extra story. Maybe it's serving cereal for dinner without a side of guilt. Maybe it's taking a deep breath instead of rushing to "fix" every little thing. Whatever it is, choose it with intention and watch how it creates space for more joy.

Years from now, when your babies are grown and gone, they won't remember the messy house or the days you let them have too much screen time. They won't recall the times you raised your voice or forgot to pack the perfect snack. What they'll remember is feeling loved, feeling seen, feeling like they mattered more than any mess they could make. They'll remember a mum who was brave enough to be real, strong enough to be vulnerable, and wise enough to know that love—imperfect, present, good-enough love—was always more than enough.

You're doing better than you think, mama. Your good enough is their perfect.

Bec xx

Bonus: Quick Reference Box

"Emergency Mantras for Perfectionist Mum Moments"

• "Done is better than perfect"

• "My kids need connection, not perfection"

• "This too is a season"

• "Good enough is good enough"

• "I am learning alongside my children"